Paranormal Blogs

Nyctophobia

Je

originally written in 2015

Nyctophobia: A Paranormal Investigator's Worst Nightmare

Nyctophobia is a fear of extreme darkness or extreme fear of the dark. Normally this is a fear that one may find associated with a child. The child grows up and the fear disappears. Not in my case. It followed me into my adulthood. My name is Jennifer Furgerson and I have Nyctophobia.

Symptoms of Nyctophobia

"If you have a phobia of the dark, you are likely to become nervous in any darkened environment. You may sleep with a nightlight. You might be reluctant to go out at night. You will likely experience an increased heart rate, sweat, shake and even feel ill when forced to spend time in the dark. If your nyctophobia is severe, you may attempt to run away from dark rooms and avoid being outside at night. You might become angry or defensive if anyone tries to encourage you to spend time in the dark."

I am uncertain of when my fear actually started. Most fears are created from an event or an object. I can only assume that somewhere in my past I had a traumatic experience being in total darkness. I must have been forced into total darkness. I am now 38 and I deal with this every night and any place I go that is completely void of light. So why am I a paranormal investigator? One would think that I would never seek this line of work and stay in the light as much as possible, and yet, I have been doing quiet the opposite. I take cave tours, and I star gaze. I joined a paranormal team. 

Nyctophobia can be mind paralyzing. My mind races, and attempts to make sense of what it cannot see. My mind blanks of any rational thought, my heart starts to beat rapidly, and I begin to panic. I tell myself, "nothing is there which is not there in the light", but my brain plays tricks, and my ears become more sensitive to the sounds they may hear. At times I feel helpless and alone. I kept my fear to myself for many years always afraid to tell anyone why I may freak out, or not be comfortable in a darkened room. 

When I first became a paranormal investigator, I made it quite clear that I had Nyctophobia. I figured it was not the time to be shy about it. Each member since I have joined have been more than understanding with my fear. The first time we were on the USS Hornet and my fear reared its ugly head to my fellow teammates. We were in a part of the ship in which the only light came from the flashlights. We decided that we would go dark (all lights off) and sit in the silence before conducting an EVP session. I stood with my back against the cold metal wall. I thought, "I can handle this, its just the dark, and my team is near by". Instead, my mind began to close down, and the panic began. I felt paralyzed and venerable. No one until that time had any idea how bad my Nyctophobia was. Thankfully teammate Anna was near me and was able to talk my mind into logical sense of thinking. I remember thinking, "someone understands, and I can get through this."

 There were a few other places that I thought my fear would get to me, and I thought I would not be able to do my job as a paranormal investigator. In Tonopah, Nevada I had my teammate Jim next to me while we were sitting on a cold wooden floor. In this case there was more light, but it was dim and inconsistent. At times I had trouble discerning pitch black with the light dimming in and out. I thought for sure my Nyctophobia was about to play tricks on me, until Jim said he saw what I was seeing. Poor Jim, I was gripping his arm so tight I had thought I may have tugged it right off. 

I am not afraid to be in a haunted location. I am certainly not afraid of the ghosts that may reside there. What I am afraid of is not knowing what else could be in a vast amount of darkness. After getting back from Tonopah, I decided that I need to rid myself of this fear and asked the help of my teammates. I no longer wanted this fear to control me. 

Over the two years that I have been with ALPS I have a better grasp on my Nyctophobia. Its slowly getting easier. I even find myself laughing instead of being pinned in fear. I started out making sure I had night vision with me no matter where we went. Yet, as it was recently pointed out, that I have not had it with me on the last few places our team had been. I also used to keep my flash light on, but covered in my hands. This gave me a sense of comfort. This too has changed, the flashlight is still with me, but off and in my pocket. Over time I have had help from all my teammates. I used to have to be right next to one of my teammates, but now if they are within hearing distance, I know they are not far away. They have become my other sense of comfort. 

Nyctophobia is a fear that I plan to conquer, and I know it will take time. Looking back at how far I have come, and how silly I may have seem to those who had no idea I held such a fear in my mind, makes me realize that this fear is just that, a fear to shed from my mind.

So what's my next step? Eventually I would like to be able to be in a dark (void of light) alone and to be able to either be the first in or the last out of a dark place we have been investigating. By forcing myself into this darkness, I have already taken the step in attempting to control my fear.

Symbols

Je

originally written in 2016

Some Symbols: behind their meanings

In the paranormal world we deal with symbols painted on buildings, tattooed on people, and just showing up where we least expect them. How do we decide their meaning, or even what they are? We research. A lot of people who see pentagrams, or upside down crosses tend to immediately think that these symbols are evil. No second thought of why they are there, no second thought of other possible meanings. Lets see if I can shed some light on three misunderstood symbols.

The Pentacle

Let's start with the Pentacle. Most commonly known as a star placed in an upright or inverted position. Some people see it as just a star and nothing  more. Others see it as a very positive symbol, yet even a larger majority see it as one hundred percent evil. Where did this negativity come from? Lets start with the history or the closest time in history of when the Pentacle was first used.

Its first known use as an English word was in 1561. Over time it was used as a talisman, representative of the five elements, goddess worship, and devil worship. How did a simple five pointed star go from being just a star to have multiple meanings? The answer is simple. The people and/or religious leaders dictate what is good and what is bad.  In the pagan belief system the Pentacle represents the five elements (Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit). Right side up meaning the goddess and inverted meaning the male god. Over time when Christianity began to grow and spread, the symbol began to take on new meaning to represent the sign of the devil. The Pentacle in this manner is represented by the inverted star.

Some have come to believe that it is supposed to represent the goat head of the devil. 

Today the Pentacle still has both positive and negative feeling surrounding it. Where some still use it in their pagan practices, others just wear it as nothing more than a fashion statement. The symbol its self is neither good or bad. 

When seen in an abandoned building or a place that is said to be haunted, it is unfortunate that most  people will place it as an evil symbol and give no second thought to why the Pentacle was placed there. Most will jump to the conclusion it was placed there to call the devil or other evil spirits. Its just as likely it could have be placed there as a symbol of protection against the evil that may lurk within. 

Alchemy Symbols

What happens when it's more than one symbol used like in Alchemy? These symbols are seen alone or with others. Alchemy symbols were first used before the 17th century. These symbols were used to denote the elements, planets, compounds, etc. During the 16th century superstition ruled many people's minds. It was thought that these symbols had some sort of a connection to magic.

With that kind of knowledge the people of the 16th century thought that these symbols could do many things from protection, causing harm, calling up angles or devils, to possibly bring someone back from the world of the dead. Sometimes the symbols would be used in conjunction with the Pentacle. The symbols would be placed either around the star in a circle or placed at the star's points. This would be drawn on the walls, floors, or ceilings of peoples homes, businesses, and places of worship.

Over time these symbols were thought to be in decline and no longer used. Today Alchemy symbols are seen graffiti-ed in cemeteries, old abandoned churches, and sometimes abandoned asylums. It does not matter if  those symbols where placed there to call forth the devil, or bring forth protection, unfortunately it gives most people the sense that evil was conjured there.

The Cross
Now the cross in today's world is seen by many as a very good symbol to have around, but what if I told you that was not always the case. One of the earliest known uses of  the cross was in Egyptian hieroglyphs over a thousand years ago. When placed on the walls of their temples and tombs its meaning was 'to protect, guard and/or avenge'. Later they would use a similar symbol that meant 'beauty and perfect'. The symbol of the Cross was seen in many cultures, yet in the early infancy of Christianity the Cross was depicted as a gruesome way to  publicly execute of people. The Christian were very reluctant to use it as a holy symbol of their faith. It is in debate with scholars of when the Cross started to have a positive light to be used in  a positive manner.

Now the Cross seen in an upright position is normally seen as a symbol of faith of God in the Christian world. The upside-down Cross however has received an evil connotation over the last  few hundred years. Not many people realize that the the upside-down Cross

originated during the times of the ongoing crucifixions by the Romans  In fact it comes from the Catholic tradition of the crucifixion of Peter. It was written some time after 200 A.D., that Peter requested to be crucified upside-down as he felt he was unworthy to die in the same manner as Jesus had. In later years some Christians came to know this Cross as a symbol of humility. Even the Catholics Pope's symbol has an upside-down Cross with keys crossing over it. Unfortunately in today's society there are people that choose to use the upside-down cross as a satanic icon.


Even though there are many symbols in the world that have multiple meanings, most are greeted with ill will and thought only as being evil and never having the chance to be anything else. These symbols have been seen in countless graveyards, old churches, and other places that have been abandoned. Most people will not take  the time to know learn the back history of a symbol, but would rather let their imaginations run wild. Perhaps the next time you are lurking about in a place that may seem or look sinister, keep in mind that what you see may have more than one meaning. In some cases we may never know the actual intent of why the symbols were drawn in these places.